I remember the first season of the X-Files and an episode set in the general locale where I lived and was attending high school. Shapes, the nineteenth episode, which featured a wendigo intrigued and frightened me. I was already interested in and reading mythology of all types and that included what I could of Native American tales and folklore. I was already trying to reconcile the opposing sides of my character: logic and wonder. (Hence the title of this blog!) I continue to believe that there’s an explanation for everything, but I now believe that there are many things which we are unable and unequipped to address. We can’t explain because we lack critical information, necessary technology or intellectual capacity. I recently bought the DVD collection of the X-Files series and movies and have begun to rewatch them.
Earlier this week, none of the audiobooks in my queue appealed to me and I checked out a series by author Lincoln Child about the experiences of Professor Jeremy Logan, a medieval historian and working enigmalogist. Each book in the series sets up a situation where Professor Logan uses his expertise to solve something unusual and outside normal experience. Professor Logan is barely a part of the first book, Deep Storm. He is appears as part of the ensemble in book two, Terminal Freeze. He takes center stage in the book that I’m currently listening to, the Third Gate, and we learn more about his actual background and abilities.
The third book encompasses near death experience and Egyptology. I am intrigued by both these things. I went to the traveling King Tut exhibit in junior high and began reading and studying more about the culture and dynasties. Professor Logan is a scholar and an empath who also sees and communicates with other beings. He uses some of the tools of parapsychology and is capable of simple demonstrations of telekinesis. I passed through and out of the “wonder” phase as a young adult, especially after I embraced computer technology as both hobby and career.
In my thirties, I began to believe life had to have meaning beyond living, working, buying stuff, working to buy more stuff and dying. I returned to alternative religion and spirituality. I joined a couple of Unitarian Universalist church communities, read about nature religions and Wicca, and tried various practices including shamanism, meditation and Reiki. Now in my fifties, I find myself searching again for meaning. Is life just killing time between birth and death? Where did I come from and where will I go? Most days, I find life to be meaningless. However, I do believe in living ethically and I continue to care about such things as social justice, civil rights, fairness and truth. I am acting within limits and my actions and therefore not have limitless effect. Still, I find myself interested in enigmas and possibility once again. Maybe an open mind is a reward for age and experience. Maybe you have a choice as you age – to be come more rigid (in your views, actions, judgements) or to become more fluid and open to possibility. I hope I fall into the latter group and am afraid my country currently symbolizes the former.