Facebook Nostalgia

I had to access the work Facebook page, so was hopping around the site.  I clicked to the ex-husband and his family.  I’m sorry that my former father-in-law (they asked to be called my “outlaws”) passed away from cancer in 2014, that the family had to give up the Toledo property, and that the ex lost his dad just before his 51st birthday that year.  I am happy that I kept in at least intermittent touch after the divorce and got to see him and say goodbye.

From all appearances, they are doing fine.  My former nephews appear to have started their own families.  My former sister-in-law divorced and remarried.  The ex himself married shortly after our divorce was final and they appear to still be happy.  Part of me wishes I could have maintained the type of superficial “normal” life that he wanted, especially since they are now pretty much doing the things I wanted and he decried. If I had, I’d have a settled routine, a plan for growing older, and a simpler retirement.

I can barely remember the girl I was when we got married … or the person I was when we divorced … or the woman determined to prove both her attractiveness and independence after that divorce.  I know that obvious romantic trappings seem like a waste of time to me now, so it’s unlikely that I’ll form new romantic relationships.  My current one is basically affectionate roommates (little companionship, no sex) and I don’t see it lasting much longer and definitely not into my retirement.