Glue Comes Undone

    Since my maternal grandfather passed, that side of the family has been gradually coming unglued.  The summer cookouts and holiday celebrations are all but nonexistent now.  One uncle celebrates with his wife's family and they are a big crowd.  When Mom lost my stepdad, they included her for a while.  I've tried over the last few years to arrange activities.  The only one that was even mildly successful was attending Green Festival in Seattle to see Amy Goodman (Democracy Now) speak.  3 of 5 people attended (including me, my mom and an aunt).  Mom planned a weekend at the Oregon coast and both my sister (reluctantly) and I attended.  I scheduled a weekend at the beach in Moclips, WA around my sister's schedule.  She cancelled, but Mom and I went.  I planned a week in Victoria, BC (again around my sister).  Both my SO and LS cancelled, so it was just Mom, her boyfriend and me. My SO was unemployed at Christmas last year, so on Christmas morning he refused to go to my mom's for dinner.  You see the pattern.
    I decided to hold a Sunday brunch at Budd Bay Cafe to celebrate my 50th birthday.  I originally chose the Sunday before my birthday, but my BS complained about that being Father's Day and my mom had changed the dates on her camping trip and might not be able to come.  So, I changed it to the Sunday after my birthday.  My sister had an extra week to heal from her LEFT foot injury and is backing out because she'll be in too much pain driving her automatic transmission van here and back after sitting around eating for a couple hours.  My mom has pretty much backed out because her boyfriend doesn't like the menu and doesn't want to leave their puppies alone for 4-5 hours AND she doesn't want to drive both ways in the same day.  Since I warned her my house was not "company ready," she's not sure she wants to stay over.  (The drive is an hour for my mom and 1 /12 hours for LS.) All but one of my friends either already had valid commitments or just said they weren't sure they'd have the time.  MY SO may have to work and or might get home from racing too late the night before.
    I am tired of trying to be the glue for all these people.  I'm tired of constantly trying to accomodate them and then having them back out.  I'm tired of them thinking I will always be the one willing to travel or accomodate them.  Why?  I'm 20 years younger than my mom, my sister is self-employed? I don't have kids?  I'm used to it?  I'm so done.

NOTES:  SO = significant other /  LS = little sister / EH = ex-husband