“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”
I make a lot of lists and sometimes that works to make things less overwhelming. My biggest fault, and I understood this way back during my freshman year of college at Washington State University, is that once I’ve planned something, it feels like I’ve done it and I lose interest. This is currently affecting me at home and at work.
When I really think about it, I believe this has a lot to do with my primary relationships:
– Mom is becoming a hermit and doesn’t want to do much. While this is understandable with her health issues, she really isn’t making much of an effort and her boyfriend doesn’t make anyone feel welcome or do anything except watch sports or reruns of classic TV series. First my sister was too busy working and now she’s trying to get back on her feet after closing her shop and taking temporary refuge with her boyfriend.
– My significant other is my biggest problem. I am “camping out” in my own home. We don’t do anything together. I can’t use my own living room and the kitchen/dining room is chaotic. He calls me from “the road” most weeknights and all I want to do is ignore the call. He can’t be bothered to ask for a single evening or day off to do anything with me, but he schedules whole weekends to go racing. I realize dental and medical appointments aren’t exactly the same, but he takes time off for them too.
My life feels stagnant and I think the new mantra may be “stuck and stagnant.” Before the divorce and the changes that I made, the mantra was “old and tired.” I changed my life to fit “young and happy.” That actually lasted through my health issues and up until his periods of unemployment and his questionable behavior. I think that once I figure out the mantra for what I want, thing will begin to truly change again.