"Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract." – Kathy Letta, prose producer
"I was forty before I learned that 'no' was a complete sentence." – Kathy Ireland, Sports Illustrated survivor
I read once that all men who marry believe they are "marrying up," but it does not necessarily need to be true. It just has to be their perception. I wonder how many women "marry down?" If we compromise and pretend to be less intelligent, less competent, less independent and/or more accommodating; how can we do anything else?!
I believe that I've been "dating down" since the divorce. The men who I had fun talking too were usually younger and looking for younger, thinner, and prettier. I am pretty, but I believe my best attributes are my intelligence, my playfullness, and my openness to new ideas and experiences.
The boyfriend who has devolved to little more than a roommate is definitely less intelligent, less flexible, and less capable. His focus is on security and sexuality. He continues to look youthful and be amiable, but being unemployed twice has made him an insecure workaholic and he has cheated. Since my dominant requirements are companionship, flexibility and trust; he's fialing me and the relationship. I am sure I failed him too … mostly by seeing and acknowledging him as a whole person and damaging his ego by offering both praise AND advice (or, as he see it, criticism).
I can say, "No." I am having a harder time saying, "Go."