More Artemis Quotes

All quotes taken from Chapter 6 of ARTEMIS THE INDOMITABLE SPIRIT IN EVERYWOMAN by Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D.

"In the contemporary world, Atalanta represents the once-ignored daughter who succeeds and has grown into a person in her own right."

"One right step led to the next right step, and then to the next – which is how most heart-centered activists find that they are on a soul path."

" 'How dare she!' anger is directed at women who do not do what they are told or stay in their places."

"When women behave as if they are equal and are empowered to decide what they will do, including breaking discriminatory rules, the patriarchal response is 'How dare she!' "

"The Atalanta/Artemis in them gets bored at winning, once they master the skill involved or there is no new terrain to explore.  Mere winning for the sake of winning, or for the acquisition of power and money, are not major motivations for an Artemis.  Nor is she interested in suitors who are drawn to her persona and who see her as a prize."

"The Artemis/Atalanta woman can often put aside memories of the past to focus on something current that absorbs her interest."

Yet looking back, remembering and reflecting upon past experiences, is the inner task at hand for women with this archetype."

"This draws them inward – to reflect upon the past, to attend to dreams, and to see shades of gray in behavior and motivation of self and others.  They no longer judge people and circumstances simply in terms of black or white, good or bad, right or wrong.  With reflection, they can see that patterns and compassion can enter in."

"Women who are focused on what they are doing, who set long-term goals for themselves, and for whom accomplishments or mastery of something are all-absorbing often do not pay much attention to the passing of time."

"By virtue of archetype and circumstance, she learns to be self-sufficient.  She is one-in-herself as a child; she does not count on others.  Perhaps she has imaginary playmates as well as animals and birds as friends."

"… when you remember fully and know that a relationship is significant and soul-growing, no matter how it ends, it can lead you to gratitude for having had the experience and the person."

"When recall of a past love does not focus on the negatives, when you can recall how it felt to express love and feel loved, yearning to feel this again arise.  When this is combined with an awareness that time is passing, it can generate a new receptivity to love and intimacy, at any age."

"It is the longing plus the tug of instinct to be a mother that shifts a woman away from her career track, and let others pass her by."

"This is very different from thinking about having a baby to complete an image, or put a checkmark on a To Do list.  Or, as is often the case, to live up to the expectations that you should want to have at least one baby and that, once you do, the children come first."

"Some women who know themselves and also know that children deserve more than they can give them make the decision to be childless by choice.  They find, however, that they are put on the defensive by the expectations of others.  Now there is an assertive counter-designation to 'childless' – 'child-free.' "

"… the urge is to create, not procreate – to bring forth something out of her soul and her experience."

"Memories from which you cut yourself off remain alive in your personal unconscious, temporarily forgotten but accessible."

"With memory come feelings, thoughts and reflections.  Interest in what may live in the personal unconscious seems to open a gateway to the collective unconscious, to the language of symbols and the relevance of myths to personal life."

"When you are with your beloved person or creative work, you lose track of time; hours can seem like minutes and a timeless moment can feel like the eternal now."

"A man like Hippomenes, who falls in love with an Atalanta, may have admired her from a distance.  He is probably not as ambitious or as accomplished as she is and doesn't compete with her or feel diminished by her.  His love may include seeing and wanting to take care of her vulnerability, which she hides – from others and from herself."

"Time was when a warrior/defender or a bring-home-the-bacon provider fit the definition of a good match, but a successful Atalanta has these qualities herself."

"While most Atalanta/Hippomenes unions are not complete role-reversal marriages, they usually are egalitarian and each fills some of the other's traditional roles."

"An Atalanta is not attracted to patriarchal men who consider wives, and women in general, as possessions and adjuncts to their [own] needs."

The patriarchal marriage is between two people who consider themselves almost different species, each conforming to the expectations or stereotypes of their gender."

"Human qualities have a bell-curve distribution among male and female.  Culture shapes which ones are acceptable in each gender and individuals learn which parts of themselves they should suppress to fit the acceptable stereotype.  The qualities we develop result from nature and nurture, the matrix of genetic-archetypal and family-cultural influences."

"Only when boys and girls, men and women, are free to develop whatever human qualities they have … are people free to be themselves."

"Couples where both become unique and whole people often start out with each partner admiring something that is different from themselves as part of the attraction to the other."

"These [persona marriages] are marriages between two people who are lionized as a well-matched pair and who look the part in public.  But between them in private, they are not emotionally intimate and love-making has become perfunctory and infrequent, or even non-existent."

"Women who are archetypally Artemis may leave a conventionally good marriage for reasons that other women with different archetypes do not understand."

"Young John responds:  'I could not possibly marry your daughter unless she wished to marry me.  I have run this race for the chance to talk with Atalanta, and if she is willing, I am ready to claim my prize.'  The two talk, become friends, and go off separately to see the world.  This version of the Atalanta myth ends with: 'Perhaps someday they will be married, and perhaps they will not.  In any case, they are friends.  And it is certain that they are both living happily ever after.' "

" 'Living happily ever after' is a fairy-tale ending … In real lives, there is unpredictability and routine.  However, Atalanta and Young John have characters that will hold up for life.  They have principles; they know what matters to them.   And they are willing to work hard, and respect the sovereignty of each other.  They will not take that which is not freely given, and they have a capacity for male/female friendship as equals."